(No) Pun Intended
by Raining Sky Guy
Summary: Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment. Eventual IzuKasa. NOT crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended

 **Summary:** Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment. Eventual IzuKasa. NOT crack.

This is all the fault of S3, E8. ONE BLOODY LINE. And this happens.

I might make use of anime/manga's 'nobody has graduated in many years because plot' a bit. Hopefully not much.

The puns will be in english, sorry for the lameness too.

Do enjoy.

* * *

This is a story about the man who makes the worst of puns…

And the man that can't seem to get any.

Certainly a puntastic pair.

.

It had all started with a simple phrase.

"Puns? When did you make any?"

Izuki Shun had been not only befuddled but absolutely devastated. His whole life career reduced to nothing!

This man did not understand any of his puns! His crime cannot go unpunished!

Hyuuga whacked him over the head, "Now you're just not making any sense. I'd tell you to shut up, but I _was_ the one to ask about you. Are you seriously telling me that's why you have been off your game?"

Izuki mock-pouted. "It's a serious issue, here cap." The shorter teen replied as he absently jotted down his most recent pun. "I'm starting to worry he has an illness. He surely must have, not to even hear my genius words." He commented flippantly.

"Get back to work, idiot." Hyuuga deadpanned with a last whack before continuing on with the morning practice. Izuki rubbed his head and couldn't help but roll his eyes in amusement. Really, Hyuuga was such a mother-hen sometimes.

…He needed to work a pun with that one.

* * *

Mitobe watched with some worry as his eccentric teammate headed out with a clear —if strange — goal in mind. The silent yet expressive second-year student had been privy to the "plan" devised by Shun to "cure" a certain someone of an "illness". With _puns_.

Apparently the Point Guard's genial strategy involved assaulting the other with puns until he recognized _anything_. At this point Izuki didn't care he got an answer _a la Hyuuga_ , but anything other than a blank look and an arched eyebrow would be welcome. Also, don't forget his seemingly random shout of: "He was also all serious all the time! Honestly, isn't he a high-school student like us!?"

How had he phrased it? Something like, "I'm going to _pun_ nel the fun into him!"

Scratch a little worried. With a character like his, Mitobe wouldn't be surprised if Izuki next returned to them in a bag.

* * *

"Yo!" The Kaijou team as a whole paused at the threshold, hesitating to be the first to step through the exit to the gym. Practice had just ended, and the tired teenagers were already prepared to head to their homes for a warm meal and some rest.

"…You're Izuki, from Seirin?" The team captain was the first to recover from the sight of a solitary figure of a very determined (and crazy) teen blocking the way. Said teen nodded quickly, remembering his manners.

"Izuki Shun, yeah. I'd like to have a word with you, Kasamatsu-san. That is if you don't mind of course."

"Me? Well, yeah sure, it's okay. Why though?" The stocky teen was obviously confused —as was his whole team (Seirin's too, for that matter)— but being the open, honest man he'd always been, he saw no harm in denying the request.

Something glinted in his eyes as the Pun Lord struck a pose with an arm on his opposite elbow, his supported arm raised to grab at his chin with two fingers. "You see…" He began with uncanny seriousness. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity." He paused for dramatic effect. "Problem is, I can't put it down."

There was a general snort in the audience —they had caught on, found it mildly amusing and overall ridiculous but immediately dismissed it in favor of picking up their former conversations. Avid steel eyes sought out his target's reaction —letting the rest of the Kaijou team slip out.

So eager were they of heading home they missed their leader's answer.

"…Do you need help in Physics?"

* * *

"There, there…" Koganei patted his fellow teammate on the shoulder with a resigned look on him, as Izuki Shun whimpered into his pillow.

Mitobe scratched his cheek, sympathetically while Hyuuga ignored everyone in favor of the snacks. It was a day off and all the second-years (Kiyoshi was in the bathroom) had already planned on bunkering down in Izuki's house. They hadn't taken into account that their host would be so… depressed.

"He will be my demise. He _is_ The Miss!" Izuki continued, heedless of any attempt at consoling him. Though now that a pun had escaped his lips, he had gotten Hyuuga's full attention.

"Izuki. Shut. Up." The team captain muttered, his hands gripping the popcorns so hard some started to fall off their container. Fed up with the sulking, his Clutch persona slipped a bit. "You moron, if you're so depressed about it, then do something about it instead of moping around!"

Far away a stocky teen shivered. And kicked Kise for putting the AC so cold.

* * *

"…Do you have any business with us? If not just leave, you're disrupting practice." Kasamatsu had requested in that blunt way of his that always subtly reminded Izuki of Hyuuga. He was always kind though. Whenever it was Kise disrupting Seirin's practice, Hyuuga and Coach Aida were always snappish and sometimes downright murderous towards the model.

Though it might be because the model actually disrupted practice in a huge way, plastered himself all over Kuroko, pissed Kagami and brought his whole fan club along.

...He needed to get better references. He couldn't exact match his silent intrusion to the carnival that Kise always brought. Maybe that was why Kasamatsu was always frowning?

"…Izuki?" Still civil, still patient, but demanding. Without their captain to snap them into it, his team was already curiously peeking to see who it was at their door. "Oi, you guys! I never said you could take a break! Back to practice!"

"Hmm, I think…" Izuki frowned with his mouth, slightly put off. He had never been one to disrupt anyone's practice, despite he himself not minding being distracted much. But he really wanted to take his plan into fruition! "Hey, I think I don't want to keep eating your time, otherwise your clock will get hungry and go back four seconds. So can I get your number?" He interjected the pun with ease, smiling genially. Yet his target didn't bat an eye, staring at him dubiously before shrugging and reciting the numbers.

Kasamatsu had no idea what that thing with the clock had been about, but he figured that Izuki was trustworthy enough on court, he might as well give his number. With some luck he would just get called for whatever Izuki wanted this time instead of having to wait him out as the Eagle-eye user zoned out and left without saying why he was there in the first place.

He didn't think much on the situation and once the Seirin member jogged away, waving goodbye over his shoulder, the event was quickly dismissed from his mind. He had slacking underclassmen to kick.

Chapter one End

* * *

Oh my god, I'm so done with this.

I'm terrible at jokes, worse even at puns. I guess that should've been a warning. I love Izuki's stupid puns but for the life of me, I can't imitate him. Kasamatsu has now ascended from my top favorites to my top favorite in this story just because he'll be as clueless as me.

WHY, WHY did I have to get interested in a pairing with Izuki, lord of puns here!?

Is there any other IzuKasa story? If not I want to proclaim myself the creator of this odd pair XD.

 **Edit:** So sorry about the lack of break lines. It flew right over me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended

 **AN**. I had already done half of this chapter when I posted the first and said, why not (also I was threatened in a very effective way xD, thank dear **Guest** ), and posted it early. Be thankful! :P

Thank you very much for all your kind support. Extra thanks to **inspirit94er** and the **Guest** for their reviews.

* * *

"Ah, is this Kasamatsu…-san?"

"Yeah. You're Izuki? What's with the pause? Even if you're a second year…" Kasamatsu let the threat hang, making the other smile nervously.

It was almost a week since Izuki had gotten his number, and that evening an unknown number had called the senior. He had had half a mind not to answer but Kasamatsu somehow had gotten a feeling he'd know who it'd be. He'd been right.

"I could not recall your first name." Izuki explained, hoping to get off the hook, he held his phone in one hand as he doodled on a scrap of paper he'd found with his other hand. On the other side of his hand he held his pun book open, ready to be used if need be.

"Yukio. Kasamatsu Yukio. Wait a moment. " The speaking male turned away from his phone a second, as he walked over to fall on his bed face-first, rolling over, before returning. "So, finally going to tell me what do you want?"

"Yep!" Izuki smiled to himself, fully focusing on the conversation. "I'm going to be punfectly honest with you."

Kasamatsu waited for a second, but there was no follow-up. Confused, he briefly wondered if the other had hung up.

"…Okay? With what?"

He vaguely heard some wailing on the other side, before a defeated voice floated through. "I'm definitively going to cure you."

Kasamatsu could only blink as he heard the line going dead. Seriously, what was up with the other?

* * *

Kise ran while waving at them, dragging along a puzzled Kasamatsu. Izuki grinned back as he towed a blank-faced Kuroko over.

"What a coincidence, Izuki!" The model greeted the other cheekily and with a giddy sort of amusement. He had finally let go of his senior once they were but a few steps away from the other two. Meanwhile Kasamatsu seemed to have adopted Kuroko's poker face as both of them wondered just what was going on.

"I coin the incident, Kise!" The teen with the Eagle-eye replied in kind, a lot less exuberant but just as cheeky. Greetings to mutual partner-in-crime over, the blond immediately launched himself at Kuroko.

"Kurokocchi!" "Kise-kun, that hurts."

"Fancy meeting you here." Izuki reached the grumpy other, ignoring his teammate's dilemma (in his mind he offered an apology as well as his thanks to the valiant other). Kasamatsu was scowling over at their underclassmen and seemed to debate himself whether to cut in or not. "Oh it'll be alright. Our Kuroko is quite good at handling Kise." As soon as he said that, the tealhead jabbed a hand in Kise's gut.

"Huh, I'm glad then." The third-year-student crossed his arms, stance relaxing as he finally focused on Izuki. "Were you the one that planned with Kise?"

Izuki gasped dramatically, "oh no! Was our secret uncovered!?" He immediately put a hand to his chin, thinking deeply on the subject. "Maybe our secret code needs to see crit."

"…" Kasamatsu cocked his head minutely, a confused face that disappeared before the other even noticed, but decided to let go of the deal. "Anyway, what brought this up?"

"Balloons." Izuki replied very seriously, a little pout trying to form itself when his puns kept getting brushed off. Like right now. As the confused staring kept going, Izuki clarified, "Kuroko wanted to buy a book, and I decided to join him since I wanted to see if I could find the latest edition of my joke book."

"How do we fit into that?" Kaijo's captain scowled, more confused than angry —not that the other could know.

Izuki blinked in surprise, getting the smallest bit panicky. "Sorry, you had other plans?"

"No." The teen with the thick eyebrows said immediately, shaking his head with amusement. "I wouldn't be here if I had other plans. But, I get Kise, but why am I here?"

The Seirin student looked smugly at the other. "Ah well, I told Kise he could bring someone else with him… Or rather, I asked him if he could bring you over."

"But what for? Want me to control Kise or something?"

"Eh? Not at all," he said waving his hands in front of him. Izuki was more than a little curious how he'd reached that conclusion, but just decided to go along with him this time. "I just thought I'd get to know you better. For my plan that is."

"Ever going to tell me what this fantastic plan is?"

Izuki looked affronted for some reason. Kasamatsu drew back but before he could say anything, "No, since you do not get my hints!"

* * *

Kasamatsu was browsing the small music section that the bookstore had, pleasantly surprised at this (actually Kise had specifically chosen the store) while Kuroko read book's back cover summary like it's going out of style. Meanwhile, Kise had found a magazine that he featured in and every now and then he tackled the ghost-like teen, all but shoving the mag to his face; Kasamatsu couldn't even notice as Izuki was doing more or less the same to him, just with a joke book.

Well, truth was, Izuki was too subtle about it and every time he approached Kasamatsu and read off a joke or two —the older teen had the store's headphones on and at full blast. Actually that was the real reason he hadn't kicked Kise yet.

"'T, dash, T. It is hopeless.' What is, idiot?" Hyuuga read his text message out loud, before snapping at his phone, not even bothering with a reply. Beside him Riko sighed.

"What could Izuki be doing?" The short-haired girl asked him as she continued to sip at her boxed juice.

"I have no idea." Hyuuga sighed as he finally pocketed his phone. "But he has been pretty down with Kasamatsu not getting any of his puns."

Riko abandoned her drink altogether, her face a splash of shock and she gasped. "Such a person exists!?" Hyuuga nodded seriously— a glint of the captain he was on court showing. He pushed his glasses up.

"Yeah, Izuki has finally met his match."

* * *

Mitobe blinked in bewilderment, Koganei agreeing with him. Both had gone to visit Izuki, wondering if he'd like to hang out with them when they opened the door to his room and paused.

With an air of a demon preparing for war surrounding him, the Point Guard scribbled furiously on a worn notebook with one hand as he flipped pages with the other. His head snapped up at hearing the door creaking but he did not see his classmates. He was too focused.

"Is he studying for a test or something?" Koganei whispered once the demon-Izuki returned to taking notes. Courageously, the silent player stepped into the room and took a peek over his shoulder. His face immediately fell and he smiled contritely at Koganei.

" _What?!_ Why would anyone be studying a book on puns for? Heck why such a serious and scary face for making jokes?" Koganei exclaimed as he stepped inside himself. But not being as discreet as Mitobe, he earned the devil's glare. His eyes cleared for a second, as the words registered and a saner Izuki pointed a finger at him.

"I'm definitively going to cure him!"

Well… sanity is relative.

* * *

"One more just to be sure…"

"Ah, Kasamatsu! Hi!"

The aforementioned male raised his head at hearing his name and spotted Izuki waving at him, at the other side of the supermarket aisle, a basket full of junk food in his arm. He scowled.

"Oi, don't go dropping honorifics. I'm still a year older than you." He grumbled, tossing another packet of cookies into his own basket without noticing. Izuki paused, sharp-eyed.

"I'm not calling my rival with any honorific. It's just not right." He declared, standing proud and a sure smile in place. Kasamatsu's scowl deepened but a grin of his own tugged at his lips. There was a certain tension about them that reminded them of court.

"Rival, huh? Bring it on, then, Izuki!" He exclaimed, calming down at knowing the honorific drop was not out of disrespect. "Let's see who the best is next time we play."

"You're on." Izuki replied, forgetting in the heat of the moment that he had been referring to his rival in the pun incident. Rivalry sort of acknowledged, the Eagle teen pointed at the basket in Kasamatsu's arms. "Aren't those a lot of snack?"

"Ah, it's just that the team is having a study session. We're worried about Hayakawa and I'm not sure how Kise's doing. Honestly both of them…" He grumbled under his breath, before he jerked his head at the other's items. "I'm guessing you too?"

"Yeah… Kagami… well, he's a basketball brain." The upperclassmen spent a moment to sigh at the thought of their younger teammates. Izuki continued, "at least Seirin's team individual forte's are different so he can get some good cramming down."

"Oh?" Kasamatsu looked curious. "That's a good thing then. What do you help him with?"

"Hmm. My strength is Math. It's honestly a Sin, Cos I'm not Tan enough." He shrugged, but his smile wilted a bit when Kasamatsu ignored his wordplay once more.

"Heh, that's my strong point as well. Good to see someone else good at it." Kasamatsu nodded, pleased before he scowled with another glance at his own shopping basket. "Jeez, I just hope they don't think I'm going easy on them."

Izuki remembered all his other previous encounters with Kaijou's captain (Kise-bashing and Kise-kicking coming to the forefront) and sweatdropped. "I somehow doubt it."

The senior finally decided he had stayed long enough to chitchat and bade Izuki goodbye. Izuki watched the other's figure growing smaller and when he completely disappeared he sighed in defeat.

He stared at his hands. One more pun that had died in vain. But Izuki had gotten a little bit worried because, "math puns are the first sine of madness."

…He should have used that pun instead, though.

* * *

"Kasamatsu!" Izuki wailed into his phone as soon as it was picked up on the other side. He heard some grumbles, but ignored them as he continued. "Please help me, I think I've just _dyed_ a little inside!"

"What!?" And there was this sudden worry on the grumpy other. Izuki couldn't help but blink in surprise —he _had_ done his best to sound as fake as possible. "What happened? Hang on, I'll call the ambulance-!"

"…I swallowed some food coloring." Izuki almost mumbled his punch line; too startled to even care his joke had been ruined. He heard an abrupt halt of movement, followed by a dense silence.

"…Izuki."

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm gonna beat you up next time we meet."

"O-oh." What else could he say if the other did not even try to make it a threat? Kasamatsu was really just stating reality.

* * *

Somehow Izuki got saved from that sure punch when Kuroko and Kagami both saw Kasamatsu's quickly approaching figure and not even wondering why was he exuding such murderous intent or whom it was meant for, they had him roped into an improvised basket match.

Well, it was too early to claim victory.

"That was fun." The eighteen-year-old student said, wiping sweat off his brow and picking up his discarded items. "I'm leaving then. Nice playing with you guys." He bade them goodbye, before directing a _charming_ smile at the other Point Guard—not really, there was a vein popping out on his forehead and there was this really bad air floating around him, heck he was even scowling. "Izuki, a word with you?"

Izuki's smile froze on his face.

* * *

He was wacked. On the head. Twice. But it was far better than being pummeled into the ground as he had promised to do, Izuki consoled himself as he rubbed the back of his head.

"That's what you get for joking around with stuff like that." Kasamatsu barked, fist rising yet again threateningly. He was much calmer now that punishment had been dealt though.

The player with the Eagle-eye stared at him, surprise in his big face. There was a moment of silence before he cracked a smile.

"You're too much of a worrywart, Kasamatsu."

"Oi, what's that supposed to mean?" The aforementioned male snapped back, grumbling under his breath about unruly and disrespectful underclassmen.

"Just that you really take care of those around you. You're like Hyuuga, actually. I guess it's a captain thing." Izuki mussed almost to himself, before he directed a double thumbs up at him. "You're a good person!"

"Oi, don't patronize me." He replied but there was amusement in his face. He looked back at the gym with a contemplative look on him. "We should schedule another practice match, you know? Let your couch know I'm interested. I'll be telling Kaijou's at tomorrow's practice. Your duo keeps getting stronger."

Izuki chuckled. "Sure thing, cap."

"Well, I'm leaving. See you around." Kasamatsu waved as he started walking away. Right at the edge of the bubble of light from the gym light, the older male paused. He turned around and pointed a finger at Izuki. "I'm not going to lose to you, rival."

Izuki drew back, surprised. A chuckle escaped his lips, before a big grin placed itself on his face. "Neither will I!"

He was already looking forward to their match.

Chapter Two End

* * *

 **AN.**

I swear the puns will be the end of me.

Anyway, how'd you like this (longer) chapter? Is there any scene in particular you'd like to see? A match, another outing, idk what else?

Lemme recommend you two songs I discovered because of them XD: Kasamatsu's Locker Room and Izuki's KI-TA-KO-RE (Which are just so on-character it's unbelievable.)

Do review so there can be more IzuKasa!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended

 **Summary:** Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment.

AN. You guys are amazing as always, thank you for reviewing and favoriting and following this thing! (First time I got more reviews than anything else and so quickly, thanks!)

* * *

The tension could be felt, as both teams strove to win. Kagami and Kuroko both marked Kise almost instantly— and Izuki soon found himself in the same position as he stared into the cocky grin of a certain Kasamatsu.

"You're not gonna get past me." He assured the other as Izuki bounced the basketball in his hand. He immediately used his Eagle Eye, waiting just for the moment Hyuuga was in position-

Izuki feigned to the right, dove for the left and launched the ball behind his back, arching gracefully over both of them. Hyuuga caught it and immediately went for a three-pointer.

The Seirin Point Guard nabbed a cocky grin. "Oh, that's all in the past, dear rival."

.

His comeback did not make itself wait though. Izuki was fairly sure Kasamatsu was a good way from him as he prepared to shoot. But suddenly the stockier teen is right behind him, clawing the ball away, mid-jump.

Kise feinted out of Seirin's double-teaming, called over and the ball was tossed over to him. The swish of the net marked another point for Kaijou.

.

In the end they played two games. Seirin won one and Kaijou the other. But two Point Guards didn't see it that way. Izuki had scored or helped score, a total of 46 points. Kasamatsu a total of 55. Not to mention the many times the Kaijou player had appeared from absolutely nowhere —fouling Izuki's game plan. Though it wasn't like Kuroko. From what he had witnessed, the player was, indeed, nowhere near him when he used his Eagle Eye. No, rather, the other teen was way faster than he had expected and covered the distance while the Seirin Guard was distracted.

Izuki believed he had gotten his payback by using his Eagle Spear as much as he was able to.

* * *

Izuki was refreshing his overheated body on the outside drinking fountain when someone knocked against his side lightly. He looked up to see a tired Kasamatsu offering him a lazy grin.

"Good game." He offered, before he bent down to drink water himself. Izuki stared at him, blinking water drops out of his eyes for a moment before he grinned at the other.

"Good aim! Good game!" He replied, too tired to remember to feel affronted at the dismissal of his word play. He closed the water flow on his side and squashed his wet hair away from his face. "I never knew you could be that fast."

Kasamatsu actually looks surprised at that. "You noticed?" His smile comes a little shyer. "Most people just assume I'm constantly tagging them."

Izuki cocked his head, before he pointed a finger at him. "Ah!" he exclaimed, smugly. "But I believe you're forgetting I have Eagle Eye."

"Oh, that right!" The older teen exclaimed, as he ducked his head under the water stream. "You have that don't you? I mean, it's not like I forgot, but, you know I never quite understood how it works."

"Well, as my rival, I suppose I could explain it to you. To ensure the survival of your chances." Izuki juts a thumb up, backing slightly for more space, water still flowing down his face and neck. Kasamatsu rolled his eyes good-naturedly, making a grab for the towel he had brought with him but huffed at it, not bothering on drying his hair.

Instead, the older teen walked past him, tossing the towel to Izuki's head and half-dried, half-ruffled black locks. "Thanks, but you forgot a towel. You'll get sick if you go on like that."

The Seirin member paused, a bit at odds at the sensation. He felt a smile pulling at his lips immediately afterwards and dismissed the event as he chuckled out a thanks. He started drying his hair as he accompanied the other back. "But like this, won't you fall sick?"

"Hmm? I have shorter hair. Dries faster." Kasamatsu said almost immediately, he looked at the other for a moment, before he reached a conclusion. "And besides, only idiots catch colds in the summer."

"Hey!" Izuki protested before confusing the older one by spreading his legs and extending his hands as if to catch a baseball. "With the proper technique, anyone can catch one, regardless of the season. If I catch one, because I'm a genius, it'll be because I saw it coming!"

The Kaijou Point Guard walked right past him. "Yeah, yeah. Hurry up or we'll get left behind."

* * *

"I did not see it coming." The nasal voice was flat despite the roughness and Kasamatsu immediately understood what the call was about.

"You caught a cold, huh." The teen with bushy eyebrows said, before huffing a laugh. He continued on doing his math homework. He held the phone loosely, "sounds like someone is really an idiot."

"Halfway around the globe, it is not summer. Hence I can't be fully an idiot."

"Ah, I see the fever has gotten to your brain."

"Hey!" Izuki protested before a fit of coughing started.

"Take it easy. You _do_ sound like it's a bad cold. You sure it's not the flu?"

There was a small silence on the other side of the line before Kasamatsu caught a quiet, 'yes, got it!'

"Well it might be… I could have caught the chalkboard flu… because today I feel remarkable!"

"What sort of sickness is named like that?" Cue arched eyebrow as the older male forwent his homework to try to understand what was going on.

Though when the Eagle got choked up, and started coughing more violently as he had attempted to whimper sadly, Kasamatsu was quick to say.

"O-oi, you know what, if you have anything else to say, you should text me. So you don't strain yourself."

"Oh? I can? That'd be a relief!" Izuki managed and soon the phone call was ended.

'This is much better. I think I was getting a bit-' Followed by a horse picture.

Kaijou's captain stared at the message in confusion before setting it aside to complete his homework. He could try to guess what the horse was supposed to be after he finished.

* * *

"He asked me who that horse belonged to!" Izuki wailed into Hyuuga's arm. The irritable glasses wearing teen was, just like the rest of the congregation, trying his hardest not to laugh. And who could blame them? Izuki Shun was known as the man that could exasperate a rock with his puns, neither Riko (who was hiding her face, hand muffling her giggles) nor Koganei (who was silently holding his stomach) nor Kiyoshi (whose coughing fit sounded suspiciously like laughter) nor Mitobe or Hyuuga would have thought that possible.

And wasn't that just hilarious?

The party of second-year students that had gone over to see how Izuki was faring with the cold all left as their friend's fever abruptly rose and had him dizzy and in bed in no time.

Their mocking, coupled with the frustrated attempts, had the sick Izuki resolved himself to get even better at puns. Oh, he'd make sure his friends regretted even laughing at him.

It just so happened that Kise and Kuroko and Kagami had left some unresolved bet on their last game and nagged at their respective coaches for a rematch.

It just so happened that Izuki was ready to make his comeback.

* * *

"It's ridiculous how competitive they have gotten with each other. It's a fortune we all live in the same district or I'd be pissed at them." Riko commented blithely to Koganei as she and Kaijou's coach both stared at the lined up teams with the same exasperated look on them.

On court, Kise, Kagami and Kuroko were making sure neither of them got a chance at even moving, Kasamatsu shouting at their ace to get a move on while he dribbled past Mitobe and passed so Kobori could shoot a three pointer.

Izuki then stopped Kaijou's captain from advancing, quirking a smile his way. "Hey, not going to let you pass." Behind him Hyuuga passed over to Teppei and received it back to avoid another member of the opposing team. "You know…today I don't think I can focus on you." He added a bit ruefully and at Kasamatsu's confused stare he allowed a mischievous smile spread over his lips. "I need to get retribution on everyone."

"Retribution? What for?" Kasamatsu huffed as he tried to fake a turn, but Izuki moved along with him.

"For getting me sicker." Izuki replied with a pout, before his assured face was back. "And I know communist jokes are classless. But you see, if you find an interesting one, you're obligated to share it with everyone so not my fault!"

* * *

Izuki was too hyped by his quest to get properly disappointed at Kasamatsu's lack of reaction and when Kise managed to get out of that double-teaming, ball in hand, Izuki was already aware and on to him. But before Kaijou's ace could try to dribble past him, Izuki spoke,

"I had a pretty sweet dream last night." The black-haired teen then, without any preamble, shot out his arm, the ball escaping Kise's grasp via Eagle Spear. Still outstretched, hair moving, Izuki grinned at the surprised model. "I was eating chocolate cake."

The Point Guard then slithered away, running back as Teppei took charge of the rouge ball and scored a two pointer. He caught up to Hyuuga just as Kise blinked out of his surprise and started laughing noisily.

"Hey, cap, what's brown and sticky?" Izuki shot a look back at the laughing model with pride before focusing on the sour-looking Seirin captain. Smile growing into a smirk he continued, "the answer is a stick."

Both coaches sighed and rubbed at their temples when both captains smacked one of their players ("Kise, you dumbass, stop laughing and get a move on!" "Not now, Izuki!"), while the other players stared in mild confusion.

Kagami used that to break past everyone to perform his characteristic dunk. Meanwhile Izuki had already spotted his next victim.

"Hey, Hayakawa, right? Are you a religious person?" Izuki joined Teppei in blocking Kaijou's Power Forward. Said teen blinked in confusion, momentarily forgetting to keep track of the game around them.

"Do you happen to know where cats go after they die?" Kaijou's player was still clueless, staring at him, but Teppei's eyes showed trepidation because surely…

"To _purr_ gatory!"

Teppei sighed long-suffering and Hayakawa offered him a bewildered expression, before his fierce expression went flat.

"…Seliousry?"

But Izuki was already flitting away, cackling vindictively and spotting Kasamatsu he jogged up to him, offering a smile when the other just stared at him weirdly. Kobori passed the ball, and while Izuki didn't try to intercept that, he immediately blocked Kasamatsu.

"You're still my main target, bam!" The Eagle-eye user made a gun with his hands much to the other's confusion, and to certain people's exasperation ("IZUKI!" "Focus on the game or I'm subbing you out!") . He was surprised, however when the older teen decided to shrug it off and instead did a double faux pass and used his own speed to by-pass him and dribble for the ring.

But he already was being blocked by Mitobe and Izuki had already seen the play getting into position so he was there to trump the ball's trajectory to Kise. He lost hold of the ball however and the blond made quick use of it as he copied Hyuuga's three-pointer.

"Ah, that was unfortunate…" Izuki mumbled almost to himself, turning to a curiously red-faced model. Curious, he continued, "almost as unfortunate as hearing that the stock from the submarine company really took a dive this morning."

Kise started laughing loudly, clutching his stomach.

* * *

On and on, Izuki Shun continued on wreaking havoc on court, pissing off most of his team while Kaijou steadily progressed from unbelieving to irritated. Except Kise. He ended up laughing too much and too hard that a sour-faced coach had to sub him out.

Kasamatsu bellowed at his underclassman for being so ridiculous mid-game and Riko was the next that almost lost it at noticing that he was the only person on court that seemed remotely sane (even Kuroko was looking a bit rough around the edges)— he really had no clue what was going on.

"Why'd the apple go out with the grape? It couldn't find a date."

" _GET OUT!"_

* * *

The captain of the Kaijou team stared at his players, not getting why all of them seemed weary out of the blue— nor he could understand how Izuki had the energy to bounce from player to player spouting nonsense in a quick fashion, less so _why._

Though at the end of the first quarter, the whole Seirin team ganged up on the Eagle Eye and was benched immediately. Even then, it was impossible not to see the smug smirk still sitting on his face, like a cat after a job well done.

Izuki caught his eye and saluted of all things before the Wraith —otherwise known as Hyuuga Junpei— descended on him. Their coach turned a blind eye to the violent display as she went on with their first year students about a strategy.

Kasamatsu cocked his head, eyebrow arched, thinking that the Seirin team was far more quirky than he had assumed; he dismissed the thought, however, as he returned to coordinate his team —and hit Kise some more.

Nobody except Kasamatsu remembered the outcome of that game. That was how hard they tried to forget such lame puns. What they do remember is that they're thankful the Boston Crab hold exists.

And that Aida Riko is very effective with it.

Chapter Three End

* * *

 **AN.**

Kill me now, it'd be more merciful.

This chapter was more than I could handle. So, a lot of these puns were supplied by amazing **NothingButBipolar,** and **bellelair,** go thank them and read their fics.

Sorry for two games in one chapter, hope you don't mind?

Oh and if you have a scenario or a place you'd like to see them go, do tell me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended  
 **Summary:** Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment. 

**AN.** Movie scenario was provided by **cynicalreader02** , and last chapter's puntastic-match was **Sadistic** - **Dream** - **Pair'** s& **inspirit94er'** s suggestion (sorry I forgot to credit you).

To all my readers, sorry for the long wait and the short chapter! To be completely honest, I ran out of puns xD.

Do enjoy!

* * *

'I mustache you a question, it's very relephant.'

That was the message that greeted Kasamatsu when he checked his phone, wiping the sweat off his face with an absent gesture with his towel - as his team started cleaning the gym after practice. He snorted.

'You might want to turn off your autocorrect.'

'TT-TT'

'Izuki?'

Kaijou's Point Guard stared at the screen with confusion, getting a bit worried when there was no immediate reply. He sighed to himself.

'So, what was it you wanted to say?' He typed, including several little elephant emoticons. For his efforts he got a smiley face back.

'I wanted to know if you're free tomorrow to watch a movie.'

Kasamatsu smiled to himself. 'Sure. Which one?'

* * *

Next afternoon found a surprised Kaijou captain staring with confusion and no less amusement at the lean figure lingering by his school's entrance. He, as always, was the last of his team to leave school grounds, this time alone since Kise had been whisked away to a photo shoot as usual and he had sent the rest of his team off as he spoke to one of his teachers.

That said, it looked like he wouldn't be alone much longer as he drew level to the teen, "what are you doing here, Izuki?" Startling the other from his daydreaming.

"Kasamatsu! I didn't notice you coming! Hey!" Izuki replied, whirling around quickly and pasting a smile on him. "Had some dealings to do nearby and since it's close to the hour you're let out from practice so I thought I'd swing by anyway." He added sheepishly as an afterthought, "I hope I wasn't bothering."

Kasamatsu snorted. "No, it's fine. But anyways, let's go. I want to get there, preferably before the movie starts."

"Right!" Izuki nodded sharply anf they both set off with unhurried steps, "by the way…how do you put a baby alien to sleep?"

"What? Why would you ever… even if you meant hyphothetically I have no clue."

"You _rocket_!"

"…"

"Good one, right?"

"Well, true, rocking a baby is standard for getting them to sleep, so I guess it makes sense that answer, But really, this is so out of the blue, how'd you even began thinking about this stuff? Izuki?... Why are you sobbing?"

* * *

Izuki sulked through all the commercials, his puns having been rebuffed and ignored from the moment he had met with Kasamatsu. But both focused on the movie once it began. And not even twenty minutes into it they both started squinting in confusion at the big screen. Neither was willing to admit they weren't sure why they were watching that one. Both teens had wanted the sports movie.

But they had ended up with a sports _drama._

At least, for Izuki, it was so cheesy it was hilarious. He started by lip-synching on the worst parts to Kasamatsu who snorted at him. Then a girl made a pun that took the air out of Izuki and soon it was him who was doing them.

"Kasamatsu, this, this movie is too much."

"Yeah, I know, I didn't expect this chickflick. Next time let's just-"

"No," Izuki shook his head seriously. "You do not seem to appreciate the protagonist's 'chicky'ness. She's a real character."

"Uh, whatever you say." Kasamatsu said not understanding and currently not willing to try. But his companion seemed unruffled by his audience's reaction –or lack thereof—as he continued with his assault.

"That redhead. The one with the tasser, she was stunning!"

"Kasamatsu, did you see that?"

"Uh, the leaves blasting away the letter-?"

"It was unbeliefable!"

Like that he continued on and on, much to his friend's confusion and the theater's increasing exasperation. Not even five minutes later, a flashlight shone at them as a movie attendant reached them. Though Izuki wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings as he tried to regain his breath after his latest pun –that had been gold! He better remember it so he could write it down later!

"Uh, sir, excuse me, I will have to ask you to lower your voice-"

"HAHAHAHAHA-!"

"Sir, if you could just-"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!"

* * *

"That was my first time getting kiked out at a movie."

"I'm so sorry…"

"Not even with Kise."

"Uh…"

"Not even with Kise _and_ his fan club."

"Um…"

Kasamatsu levered an expressionless look at him. The fair-skinned teen flinched at that.

"That was absolutely ridiculous."

"Yes, I apologize, it got a bit out of hand."

"Just… never again."

"…Yes."

"Good."

The sentence dictated, the Pun Lord sighed dejectedly, as he fiddled with his hands. It hadn't been his intention to have them kicked out. He really should have managed himself. Kasamatsu looked at him out of the corner of his eye and felt a little guilty at that. Not like he had been particularly enjoying the movie himself.

"Well whatever." He said, patting him on the shoulder. "What do you say we get some ice-cream now that we're out anyway?"

"Yes!" The Seirin player immediately brightened up, excitement on his face as he realized what he could do, "I'll pay for yours as an apology!"

Startled, Kasamatsu raised his hands as if to stop his underclassmen, "no, it's really alright you don't…" trailing off once he realized how enthusiastic the other seemed to be over this. Apparently the other was still sorry for getting them both kicked out.

Ah, whatever.

Free ice-cream.

And a happy Izuki once more.

All was fine.

* * *

Identical vanilla cones in hand, the teens walked down the road, no real purpose in mind. For once, Izuki had stopped his barrage of puns, feeling content with the friendly silence that hung around them as they ate through their icy treat.

Kasamatsu especially revealed in their moment, as it had been some time since he had spent time with someone else without so much ambient noise (and by ambient noise he was including the other person's chattering). He eyed the other with his goofy yet relaxed smile in place as he looked at the cars passing by. He ought to hang out more with him, this felt so nice. Kasamatsu could relax and just enjoy life in someone's company.

Izuki's sharp Eagle eyes glanced away from the zooming cars and locked with his accidentally. Kasamatsu was ready to apologize for staring when the Seirin player offered him a wide smile. "Did you know? The favorite car of the electricians is the _volts_ wagen."

Kasamatsu arched an eyebrow. "Really? Did someone tell you? I don't see many Volkswagens 'round here."

Izuki's grin immediately morphed into a big puppy pout. Kaijou's point guard enjoyed Izuki's company true, but these random mood swings were weird as hell.

And sometimes he said the most random of things.

Chapter Four End

* * *

 **AN.** Okay, that was chapter four!

People! Feel free to send me as many situations, puns and stuff you'd like (though if you're gonna send me puns please do it via PM, please)!

I don't really feel like dying about the puns this time, surprisingly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended

 **Summary:** Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment. Eventual IzuKasa. NOT crack.

Enjoy your short moment of puns~!

Pun credits goes to : otakufire1028 and the internet xD

* * *

"What are you up to?" Kasamatsu asked the pouting teen. Izuki had finally caved in, ditching what he had been doing for the last seven hours and decided to bother Hyuuga. Who promptly hung up on him. One way or another he had found himself nervously dialing Kaijou's captain.

"Stu- _dying_."

"…You mean, studying, right? Well, not surprising considering exams are coming soon."

"I've been slacking to be honest. First time I'm worried about Math…" The younger teen confessed with a sigh. He leaned further back in his chair in an attempt to get comfortable, just mildly aware his pun had been brushed off as usual.

"Really? What do you say we study together? Might be able to help you with that. Probably already saw it anyway," Kasamatsu offered off-handedly before hurriedly tacked on, "if you don't already have plans for this, I mean-"

"You'd do that?" The Eagle raised his head with his usual open smile. "That's be great, yes, thank you!"

"Just math right? You're doing alright with Physics?"

"Eh? Physics? Why?"

"The other day when you came by to Kaijou, you said something about it. Just wondering how you're doing."

"…"

"Izuki?"

Kasamatsu: 1

Izuki: 0

* * *

Which is how Izuki found himself in a panicked mess, trying to make his filthy nest of a room into a suitable location for prolonged studying. Or just for being there without any health hazards.

Two hours away from Kasamatsu arriving at his doorstep.

He briefly cursed at himself for not setting an alarm as he lugged his dirty clothes downstairs. Of _course_ the only day he invites over his _senior,_ who is more of an acquaintance than a friend and who is kind enough to do him the favor of not only going over to his house but also help him study, he decides not to wake up on time to tidy up.

Oh, Hyuuga would murder him if he ever found out.

Hyuuga the murderer.

More like Hyuuga the mud…erer?

Hyuuga the moodier.

Izuki paused in his frenzy to sigh and shake his head ruefully. That had been horrible. He'd need to work harder on that one.

* * *

Miracle of miracles, Izuki found himself bringing Kasamatsu into his _clean, tidy_ room with almost pride, intercepting and thanking his sibling for bringing up refreshments for them while Kasamatsu looked around.

His eyes were immediately drawn to a poster of the Eiffel tower. He was going to glance at it briefly before returning to his companion but stopped. It wasn't a picture, rather a drawing, and the famous construction was toppled to the side, a little bubble text coming out of it, reading 'I fell'.

Izuki noticed where Kasamatsu's attention was and promptly blushed. If this man did not understand puns, then what would he think of his poster? It was embarrassing to say the least.

"Well, then." Kasamatsu said clapping his hands together, focused scowl in place as he mowed his way over to the coffee table on which he dumped the backpack he had been carrying – giving no further indication he had ever seen the poster and signed for Izuki to follow.

Well he hadn't left or called him childish or something. It had to count for something, right?

(But to be honest, Izuki was more worried that _that_ joke had also flown over his senior's head as wellx.)

"Let me see your study plan. Need to know what you've already covered. Also…" Ever blunt, the older teen went straight to the point, making Izuki straighten his back and fully focus on the task at hand. Kasamatsu was given a brief overview of the topics Izuki's class had seen, were currently seeing and which one in particular was giving him trouble.

* * *

Izuki soon found out that Kasamatsu was blunt to a fault when making corrections, and was very focused on the task at hand… even if sometimes it struck Izuki as a little clumsy while explaining. Because he'd get straight to the answer without any in-between steps, before hastily backtracking and starting over.

Though it didn't happen more than twice, Izuki had to stifle a smile at the mildly embarrassed grunt Kasamatsu emitted, before jotting down the exercise.

* * *

In a amiable silence, Izuki continued doing the rest of his study package, while Kasamatsu pulled out his own homework and started on it. The silence was only broken by a few questions which were swiftly answered and time ticked by.

When Izuki's pen could find no clean space to start another exercise, he snapped out of his trance and noticed to his horror he had completely forgotten about being a good host. Kaijou's student looked up, sensing something and arched a quizzical eyebrow at him.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Ah-er, no…" Izuki scratched the back of his head, letting go of his pen. He half-mumbled, "sorry…you probably were bored."

"Nah, the silence was relaxing. And I actually got stuff done, so I think I like working better like this. Wouldn't mind doing this again." Kasamatsu stretched lazily.

Iziku blinked at him before grinning. "Sure thing!"

* * *

"Whoa, but isn't he scary? Just thinking about how he treats Kise… ugh, weren't you worried he'd get angry at you?" Koganei shivered dramatically before continuing on his warm-ups. Next to him Mitobe was nodding vigorously.

Izuki shrugged. "He's actually a pretty calm fella. Also he answered all my questions, even if I repeated them, with no complaints. Honestly, it went pretty well."

There was an interruption with their conversation as their captain changed the warm-up exercise.

It was a normal afternoon, their morning classes done for the day and basket training had just begun; and because basketball reminded Izuki of his math tutor, he had decided to tell his friends of his evening with the rival team's captain.

While Izuki bent over to flex his knees, Koganei and Mitobe exchanged a pensive glance before they shrugged, dismissing the thought. They focused back on their fellow teammate as he exclaimed, a smile tugging his lips.

"By the way I noticed something while on my extensive study. 'Womb' is pronounced 'woom'." Izuki began, sounding out the words as they were written. "And 'comb' is 'coom', shouldn't Bomb ' be 'boom'?"

Koganei and Mitobe then followed their team to run laps around the court, expression void of emotion while Izuki mocked sobbed behind them.

Hey, he didn't appreciate the silent treatment!

* * *

"Do I have to apologize to him?" Hyuuga was asking Riko seriously, making the Point Guard bristle indignantly. The team was on break, which had been chosen as the time for discussions and gossip to continue.

"Aw, come on, I'm not that bad!" The Pun Lord was protesting, his cheeks heating up a little by all the dramatics his friends were pulling. When his coach and his captain continued on discussing without him, he added, "he even offered to help me! I was not bothering him!"

"Wait he did?" Koganei popped up, face questioning. "Do you guys talk often or something? Since when?"

"Well, remember my fight with him?"

"What? What fight? Izuki what did you do?" Riko demanded, already hysterical. Hyuuga was glowering death at him. Izuki seemed immune to their unspoken death threats as he crossed his arms a meditative frown on his face.

"What can I say, he's the stubbornest man alive! He doesn't get a single one of my puns!"

"Ah, that's right God blessed him with such a nice gift."

"Oi."

* * *

"Senpai, I thought you weren't taking Chemistry this period."

"Hmm, Kuroko? I'm not. Why d'you ask?" Izuki said putting down his chemistrybook. There was a pause before he smiled sheepishly. "Ah. Yeah. Well, see Kuroko, I'm fighting a very tough battle here so I'm polishing my weapons."

"Whatever do you mean? Are you presenting an exam or something of the like?"

"Hmm, well organic chemistry is difficult, those who study it have alkyne of trouble- Kuroko?! Did you just use misdirection on me!?" The Point Guard yelled uselessly to the empty gym once he noticed his underclassman was nowhere to be seen. He crossed his arms imperiously, mumbling to himself like a sage warrior. "Acid you're also a tough challenge… for different reasons."

"My senses indicate you're shouting puns." Hyuuga's booming voice startled the player as his captain popped his head inside the gym from the lockers. Izuki couldn't really make out his expression but he supposed he was scowling. "So stop that and come change already. We'll leave you behind if not."

Izuki raised his hands in a sign of surrender. "Aw come on, amine, that's really funny!"

Chapter Five End

* * *

 **AN.**

Pls just end already. Omg. Why do I have to devote so much time to investigate and gather puns? This chapter took forever because 1) no puns and 2) I had no idea what the chapter content would be.

I know it was short, but I couldn't think up much for this chapter;;:

Btw, I'm taking organic chemistry this school period, I needed to put puns about that xD.

Any suggestions/ideas/links to help accomplish one or both poiints of the above will, without a doubt, make chapters come out faster.

I hope you liked!


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** (No) Pun Intended

 **Summary:** Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment.

* * *

Izuki had gone out with his team so he and Hyuuga could get new pairs of tennis as his were too worn out, and Riko wouldn't let Hyuuga play any official match with his current ones ("Honestly," she had said, "at most these will last two practice days, tops, go get new ones now.").

"It's a fortune neither of you have the shoe size of a dinosaur, unlike our Kagami-kun, " Koganei commented with a smirk, as he overlooked his two friends trying on their shoes. Kagami took offense to such a comment, but he kept it to a silent sulk until Kuroko considered it pertinent to correct him that it was better to say that Kagami-kun's feet are as big as a Tiger. Wasn't that why he was named Taiga after all?

Kagami started protesting loudly and Izuki was already sniggering when he felt a smack on the top of his head. Surprised, he looked behind him to see a similarly surprised Riko, outstretched hand calling her the culprit. "What was that for?" Izuki demanded.

"Oh," Riko covered her mouth with her hand, a little embarrassed smiled creeping up. "I'm sorry Izuki, I just heard something like a pun so I just reacted on instinct." This effectively set his team as a whole laughing at the offended Eagle.

"You are all terrible friends." Izuki declared in a toneless voice. He stood up, feeling delighted at the way his new shoes fit. "I'm taking these. Meanwhile I'll consider if you lot are any better than having rocks as friends." He paused in consideration. A smirk crawled up his face. "That reminds me, what type of rock is a very good friend?"

"Izuki no."

"An Opal!"

"Rocks will be your only friends if you ever use this joke again."

* * *

 _One snowy night, Sherlock Holmes was in his house, sitting by a fire. All of a sudden, a snowball came crashing through his window, breaking it._

 _Holmes got up and saw through the broken window the three neighborhood brothers running away at top speed. Their names were John Crimson, Mark Crimson and Paul Crimson. The next day, Holmes got a note that read:_

 _? Crimson broke your window._

 _Which sibling did it?_

Kasamatsu stared at the veritable wall of text Izuki had sent him for who-knows-what-reason at ass o'clock in the morning. He didn't actually read it then, seeing as how it was late and he was tired and it was too damn long and probably not important. He waited until he was already in school, waiting for his teacher to appear when he decided to read it. And promptly sent a text back asking what the fuck was that.

"It's a riddle ;)"

Kasamatsu stared at the reply. He was not amused at all.

"Do you realize at what hour you sent it?" Kasamatsu replied quickly enough. The answer took a couple minutes, he wondered if Izuki had pocketed his phone as soon as he sent that.

"Sorry about that, but it was a glorious prize I needed to share ASAP."

"Do you want me to hit you again?"

"Noo, I'm sorry! - try solving it!" Kasamatsu could practically hear Izuki's voice pleading with him, even with the silly emoji thrown in. It made him crack a smile.

Kasamatsu scrolled up to the riddle-story-thing giving it another once-over. The clues were probably in the text itself, it would at least be entertaining, he supposed. But still, he had dared send a message at that unholy hour.

"Well whatever, okay, but what do I get if I answer it?" He sent, like a sort of punishment. He was going to get payback for being woken up so late. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he figured Izuki would try to weasel out or something.

Nonetheless, the answer was swift.

"A date with me? :9 "

This gave Kasamatsu a pause, mouth twisting with discomfort as he thought about it. Maybe he was playing around because… but anyway he could play along, it wouldn't hurt.

"-_-

"fine but only if you pay for me."

"Really?"

"I don't see why not, just don't get any ideas."

"wdym?"

"it's just hanging out, right?

"uh, yeah. Obviously."

Ah well. Everything was alright then. He was gonna get free food whatever the cost.

"I want a burger." He sent after a moment's consideration. He just didn't want the other to think he was taking advantage and would ask something honestly expensive in return. For his efforts he was sent a laughing emoji followed by a text.

"Hold your horses! Try to figure it out first!"

Kasamatsu snorted and was already typing out a reply when he got the next message,

"But sure thing, cap! Burgers it will be!"

Kasamatsu smiled.

* * *

"So that's the gist of it, anyone of you can help?" Kasamatsu told his teammates once class was over. He had re-read the riddle for at least an hour and he was still stumped so he had finally surrendered to ask help from his team, hopefully one of them would know. He rolled his eyes when the incredulous silence was broken by Kise laughing.

"This Izuki guy is ridiculous, but senpai, you couldn't figure it out?" The model said, mock-wiping a tear from his eyes. Everyone ignored him as they tried getting a look at said riddle. With so many hands trying for his phone, Kasamatsu instinctively stretched his hands to put it out of reach.

"But why are you just following along?" Kobori asked nonchalantly, outstretching a hand patiently for his captain to give him the phone. Kasamatsu relented it after a small pause much to the other's disgruntlement ("Hey! Get in rine I asked fol it filst!")

"Izuki's buying me food if I get it." Kasamatsu replied in their general direction, ignoring the jostling two in front of him. He frowned. And aimed a kick in their direction. "Oi, be careful with my phone, don't drop it!"

Moriyama ignored them as well, processing the words with some surprise.

"Wait, seriously? Isn't that too much?" He proceeded to question, garnering the other's attention fully. Behind them, Kise snorted at Kobori and Hayakawa's fight for the phone but silently made his way over to Kasamatsu.

"He _did_ wake me up at three in the morning." The captain said as all explanation, his face taking a darker cast for a moment.

"Oooh." Everyone cringed in sympathy. It was again Moriyama who asked in a deceptively light tone. "And you haven't ditched his body in a river why exactly?"

Kasamatsu thrusted his elbow behind him, getting Kise right in the stomach as the model had been stretching over him to probably show him his goofy face or something. Kasamatsu didn't even acknowledge this fact even as his star player doubled over in pain and whimpered pathetically. "Oi, I'm not so bad!"

Moriyama rolled his eyes, feeling just the bit sorry for Kise. "Of course not, cap. " Hayakawa produced a sound that seemed like badly concealed laughter, but the others only smiled fondly at their strong, if oblivious, leader. But then Moriyama continued, mystified. "You really didn't get angry at him?"

"He did piss me off. That's why he's gonna get me something whether I guess it or not." Kasamatsu deadpanned making his team laugh again. He frowned at them in general. "If you're not gonna be of any help start training, geez!"

His team was jostled into movement, people standing up, stretching, finishing folding their clothes into their lockers. A couple of them exited, but the first stringers remained.

"If he's getting you something either way, why'd you show it to us?"

"I wanted to know what you guys thought. I refuse to give in just like that. I really don't get it." Kasamatsu replied bluntly, preparing to shuck his (recovered) phone into his locker to bring his friends to the court at last but their ace stepped up again with an ungodly amount of mirth on his face.

He snickered. "Try reading it out aloud, senpai."

He did.

His team then did a collective eye-roll, some of them just exiting the locker room without another word. He was sure someone had said they would commit murder or something like that, and Kise was half-hiding his shitty grin.

"So?" He asked, eager like a puppy. "Do you get it?"

Kasamatsu blinked, looked at his phone and back to his teammate. "No I do not." He said.

Kise started chortling.

"But _that_ I do get," the captain said darkly, preparing his fist of Death.

* * *

Izuki's phone buzzes with a message. The Eagle lazily scoops it up, not even looking away from the TV, but when he unlocks it he almost spits out –whatever he had been eating– as he stared incredulously at the message from Kasamatsu.

"It was Mark. Now get me food."

He had gotten it! He had gotten the word play! Izuki could hear the angels singing and World Peace beginning because his dense friend had finally gotten a pun and now Izuki had a whole arsenal ready just for him, and now he'd be able to appreciate it and-

Another message crops up, breaking his illusion of a rose-colored future where he hung out with Kasamatsu and chanted pun after pun while Kasamatsu laughed at them heartedly-

"Sorry," it read. "Teammates tried to explain it but didn't understand. So I suppose I failed.

"But I did get the correct answer and you did wake me up at 3 AM, so you better be at Maji's this Friday. I want a burger. And a soda."

…

…

Kasamatsu: over 1000

Izuki: minus 5000

* * *

 **AN.**

Did you thought I had forgotten about this story? Worry not, my readers. Every time I read a pun, I cringe and get reminded of Izuki and Kasamatsu.

It's been a while since I watched KnB, tbh wasn't even interested in the third season. Not sure why, I still like it and all. The main story simply lost its appeal for me.

But anyways! Not so many puns on here, even though I now have a great arsenal thanks to you guys (worry not, I have them all saved to use 'em for another occasion). It's a mix of thankfulness and cringiness. As of 8/4/17 I am still unsure why the fuck I thought this story was a good idea.

Also, my apologies for such a short chapter.

Btw, the pun-riddled-riddle was not mine, I found it on the internet. From a tumblr post I think, but the name was chopped off, so kudos to the original writer.

Hope you enjoyed, until next time!


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